28.12.13 | 0 commentsThe only love you feel for real is the one that you can never try to forget.
1.12.13 | 0 commentsI wanna come clean today.
about my feelings ?
see, me and Shafiq.. aren't like the olds days anymore, ya know
we... kinda broke up. or sumthing like that.
but believe me when I say that, I don't feel that way.
I don't feel like we broke up. I feel that I'm still entitled to him.
I'm still his girl. That's just how I feel.
I still am. I can't love any other guy. Bitch got no love to give anymore.
I gave it all to him, to Shafiq. this is the truth. I'm telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
I STILL LOVE HIM, OKAY !!!
I cannot forget him, and I don't wanna forget him.
I'm sorry, just, NO.
people might say "hey, there's a lot of fish in the sea."
well, bitches. I ain't got a lot of hearts.
you don't see anyone having three or four hearts now do you ???
and now I miss him like a HELL lot !
I'm sorry. seriously. sorry. I just can't.
1.12.13 | 0 commentsI think it is time for me to change.
I've been trying, believe me, but I just can't seem to change at all.
I wanna change for the better but end up for the worse.
I don't wanna blame anything or anywho but, things had made me think.
what good is there for being nice but treated like shit
while being bad but treated like you're on top of the world.
is it because being nice made people wanna step on you ?
and while being bad made people feel scared of you ?
I'd rather be myself and just follow my own ways than to follow other's.
if this is how I am, then, this is how I'll be.
“Unleash your inner demon.”
I don't care bout other people's shits,
very eerie heart
27.10.13 | 0 commentsstrange.
the things that are going through my mind.
can't seem to grasp what I'm feeling for real nowadays.
the tears shed, the friction of water through my eyes. sore.
I'm not gonna lie by saying I am entirely fine and happy.
why am I still thinking about things that have left me a long time ago.
things that I've let go.
the clouds nowadays seems like they're in touch with me.
they kept on raining. keeping me company when the world around me need to flow through my eyes.
when others had left.
need I put a mask to fool everyone in daylight ?
but uncover myself at night.
when things finally seem to have gone better, it fall apart.
when I thought that I can finally stop doing what I have been doing,
when I thought that I can finally stop searching.
and at then I realized that I can never stop.
I will never stop.
31.3.13 | 0 commentsI do a lot of thinking at night and usually tons of things came crossing my mind before I fall asleep.
there's a lot of questions that I ask myself, scenes that might happen playing in my head like a tv show, all the ifs and what not.
but there comes a night where sometimes I just wanted someone who matters to me to just call me out of the blue and ask,
“Fahada ? Are you okay ?”
but it'll never happen,
29.3.13 | 0 commentsknow what ?
since back then when I was little,
there's always one thing that went on in my head.
Do people hate me ?
like, yea. .
15.3.13 | 0 commentswishing we could read people's mind huh ?
wishing we could know whatever is going on at the moment.
it's actually better to not know tho.
but the curiosity is what making us want to know more.
and to be real with ya, we wont actually get what we want and yet we still want it.
and to get what we want, we started to forget what we really need.
but still yet we get what we need only when we need it and now i'm starting to think i'm talking in a twist. . .
ugh thinking is so hard !!
i'm pretty messed up rite now.